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I suppose that nearly every town has its share of self-appointed snobs,
A few old crabs and the usual crowd of ordinary Bills, Jills and Bobs.
In our fair village there's a character whose name is "Squire" Squab,
Whose well-known eccentricities stand out among the seething mob!

No one seems to know how the title of "squire" he acquired.
Nor has anyone that I know of really ever inquired.
He certainly isn't a lawyer, justice of the peace or judge,
Though he assumes those self-appointed roles at the slightest nudge!

He always wears a derby hat, spats and a dovetail coat.
Kids harass him unmercifully trying to get his goat!
On his daily stroll downtown he'll sidle up to some hapless soul,
With a myriad of inane propositions that he wishes to extol!

Many times at town council meetings, that august body he'll disrupt,
To denounce their ancestry, telling them that they are most corrupt!
At Baptist prayer meetings he often disturbs their peace,
And must be cuffed and escorted to jail by the local police!

Although some folks consider the "Squire" a peculiar curiosity,
Others like to think that he exudes a distinguished virtuosity!
When all is said and done, he is simply a naive and harmless guy,
But he certainly animates our town, this we surely can't deny!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)

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