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There ain’t never been much love ‘twixt them two out on the range—
Seems cowmen has always thought that them sheepherders were strange.

Then one day in rides a poke by the name of Tom Campbell—
What’s lookin’ for a job, if some outfit likes to gamble.

The foreman asked him straight out what is his experience—
He says he done some sheep herdin’ and he can mend a fence.

Well, that foreman was Bob Barkley – ‘bout tough a man there is—
He nods his head – says Jake will show him which remuda’s his.

Seems things went hunky-dory and there weren’t no call for lip—
Tom caught on fast, knew his stuff – but still smelt like ol’ sheep dip!

Then one night out of the blue, Tom tells us all he’s a Scot—
He’s proud of his heritage and the long blood line he’s got.

But it’s best some thing’s are left undone – they can make you wilt—
Yet what was Tom thinkin’ when next mornin’ he wore his kilt?!

They’s no prejudice in that bunch, but I sure confesses—
We ain’t too keen ‘bout them cowboys what likes to wear dresses!

Then big Bob Barkley - it seems he goes and blows a gasket—
And we is all sure Tom is headin’ for a pine casket!

“Manly cowpokes just don’t wear skirts!” Big Bob he yelled real vexed—
Then he kicked ol’ Tom’s tail bone from one mountain to the next!

Tom - he lived - though he limps from a break in his lower back—
But there sure enough is one certain thing that he does lack.

Tom done learned his lesson as he stares through the campfire smoke—
If something’s already fixed, don’t flaunt it or it’ll get broke!

And Barkley – he turned odd and wears Tom’s kilt like a scalped hide—
Sayin’ it’s how he keeps in touch with his feminine side!

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