Email Poem

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Poem

You said things were different now
That we need to be allies
But we have only grown apart
And it's your fault

Family is supposed to be forever
But what has happened is he died
And now you've changed
And it's not for the better

Who am I supposed to look up to
What am I supposed to do
How can I tell right from wrong
When everything around me is falling apart

It took me years to find my inner peace
And because of you
I want to do the bad thing again
You've changed and it's changed me

I can't keep living a lie
Putting on a smile for everyone
At night it takes all my strength
To block out the memory

11:34AM
Strangers running up the stairs, dressed like policemen
"He's in there!" you point to the bedroom eyes wild
.....what's going on?
"I think he's dead" hysterical

I did not cry
I spoke with the police, told them his name
Told them he had a headache the night before
But otherwise everything was fine

You were hysterical, but you were my mother
I needed you then as I need you now
Instead you cried on the couch and I took care
of what you simply could not

I did not cry
I had to be strong

They covered him with a blanket, he was lying on the floor
His blood was on the pillow
I reached under and stroked his hair, his forehead
I said goodbye. I choked back tears, his face was cold

We used to be so close
Why is it that now when we need each other most
All we can seem to do is butt heads
I love you, and I want to feel loved too

I don't have anyone but you
You're supposed to be there forever
But then again
So was he

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