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Turkey's on the table, both legs up
Everything was fine, 'til I made the first cut!

The turkey unleashed a "CACKLE!", then jumped onto the floor
All you could see was basted skin, bolting out the door!

"Catch that turkey!!", I screamed,..."That's our evening meal!!"
The neighborhood looked on in awe, while asking,..."What's the deal?!"

The turkey rounded the corner, boy, that sucker was quick
Dashing like a sprinter, pumpin' those massive drumsticks!

It darted down an alley, disturbed a hobo's nap
And there, seated in a corner, he jumped upon his lap!

"Thank you Lord!", the hobo cried..."Today I won't have to beg!"
"Maybe I'll start with a wing, or perhaps I'll have a leg!"

"Put the turkey down!!", I roared,..."That bird belongs to me!!"
All I could see was a tailwind, as the hobo decided to flee!

I chased him down the alley, perhaps a quarter mile
Acting a fool in public, was never quite my style!

We dashed across the freeway, dodging every car
All I want is my turkey, can't stop, I've come too far!

The chase led to a corner, right past a city cop
He stood there like a scarecrow, talk about a useless flop!

Suddenly, it ended, the bum tripped over his laces
He broke his leg quite viciously, in fact, several places!

I woke up the next morning, thank God it was just a dream
With a hangover and an achin' skull, "OUCH!!" is what I screamed!

I looked over at the table, what do you think I'd see?
That same ol' basted turkey, lying there peacefully!

I stumbled to the table, laid that bird in a box
Packed two sides with a bisquit, then staggered on down the block!

I came upon that alley, peeked behind a garbage can
And there, sleeping like a baby, was a ragged ol' homeless man!

I placed the box beside him, never did I say a word
I penned a note which kindly read,..."Hope you like the bird."
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