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Believe me when I say No one wants to be me, not yesterday, not today The grass isn’t any greener over here, my dear I ask no one to walk in my orthopedic shoes They’re always loose and you’ll only get lost if you do I've been accused of being falsely unholy and wildly misunderstood I’m not alien, the Messiah, or a devil in disguise But I’m certainly not normal nor like anyone else alive Unless I've been cloned, I'm not alone or a drooling drone, at least, not yet And I am absolutely most certainly not a robot Hopefully, wit dat we all have in common Believe me when I say, I maybe a poor soul and I’m not that clever I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone, not tomorrow, not ever The only mouth harp spoon B was born with was thumbs All four of them and twelve toes, and me mum was most definitely not a nun But I'm definitely her son of a gun, wild and unworldly packed full of fun I ask nuthin' of no one for anything especially in return And I simply just may be deeply insane My heart skips a beat ev'ry time someone dies in vain I am weak, worthlessly unworthy yet wonderfully claimed I may not be fully human but full of it I am inane I’m certainly not God’s little helper yet I am my cat’s master slave My name’s positively not Abby Normal, Jack Goff, Betty Sue or Dave So, believe me when I say, I am simply one-of-a-kind Constantly having to ignore my painstaking toothless mind Full of fantastical fantasies from far away times Most of which I’d rather not share But if you do dare to care, believe it or not, I do Wish for you and you and all of you To be the best you, you can be Simply because believe me no one wants to be me
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