Email Poem

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Poem

What happens when I don’t play my part?
When I stray from the script, and show you my heart?
Speaking a truth that’s too raw and too real. 
No longer wearing a mask and too numb to feel?

This weight is now too heavy to hold,
Swallowing hurt while never consoled. 
But nothing shifts, not really, not for me. 
The blame, the silence, the judgement, the cold. 
Who I am makes no difference, so why not be bold?

It took me awhile, but I finally see
Healing wasn’t for them, it was always for me. 
No longer hollow, clinging to pain.
Years spent hating who I became.

And then light gave way and mended my soul.
I’m changed now. Softer, yet finally whole.
I was patient. I gave. I longed to belong.
What will they do, now that I'm gone?

I could keep pretending, just to be near.
But it's not really me that they welcome here.
I hoped for so long they’d eventually see,
The goodness and grace I share so freely. 

Beauty was never meant to be hidden away,
Or, diminished so others could have all the say.
It may not be praised, or held with respect,
But worth is still worth, no matter what they accept.

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