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For a long time some time ago I believed I knew everything and there was nothing left to know. It was a role that I knew how to play. It was a character who kept me alive every day. When it was time to give someone the wheel, I felt a weight lifted from my heels. So from that day forward, I took the passenger seat. I was no longer the driver. I even gave him my anxiety. Matthew 6:31 therefore do not be anxious saying, “What shall we eat?” “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?”. For it's all taken into consideration, love and his care. I can say that since I am not life raging at my vital wheel, it’s been a steady cruise out of my control, the difference in the drive and the peace I feel are unlike an existence I ever felt could be my real. No stressing, just allowing myself to live his blessing. An amazingly simple task. To think all of these years I stressed over things that never happened but ate time from the past. Just trying to control, when all I needed was a hand to hold. Throwing spiritual fits, getting mad cursing a man whose help I never thought to ask, but always had. It's challenging to worship him after you appointed yourself his position when you had no spiritual qualifications or holy visions. Humans with weak bodies and strong indignation are vulnerable to pride and humiliation. So I will sit passenger seat while he directs my life to its final destination, whenever he chooses that to be.
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