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daddy died alone in his home
ashtrays with cigarette butts completely hoarded his deathbed
the smell of smoke almost immediately made my eyes turn red
i regret the 15 years since i last saw him
however i choose not to trip

daddy died alone in his home
i have a quiet conversation with him in the wee hours of the morning
i find myself knocking on the door of the visual voicemail on my phone
his deep, raspy bellow is simply asking me how i am doing and how he would like to see me sometime in the near future
i wish that the elements of those many years of cigarettes would have never bumped into the dreadful doom of atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease

please go visit those responsible for the roots of your life
please do not let time, stubbornness, pride, or fear control any part of your personal turns in direction
one day in the center of your plans to finally go see said loved one,
a curveball may come out of nowhere with a wind that strangely kicks
the carpet can sometimes taste like rusty coppered regret when the mouth and the tounge hits it as a result of complete disbelief
all that you will have are many wishes and several interrogative wonder whys
the next thing you know, you are living in time machine blueprint permanence

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