Email Poem

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Poem

Supposed to feed off of the pain
That forever comes my way
But I'm getting my ass kicked by this game
Been insane for.......
I lost count of how many days
Searching for the right words to say
Almost impossible to try n explain 
It's like the dysfunction been ingrained
Since such a young age
Grasping at ghosts of the past
All I ever wished for was to have your love last
But I think too much was done 
scars beeding from lash after lash
Tears flow when I wana just smile and laugh
How can i even have the nerve to ask
Numb
Takin blast after blast 
drugs stopped working long ago
Chasin" that heat wave flash 
shooting through my blood
Don't know.how my veins are even still intact
Lookin for the perfect blue line to slash
Everyday like going into combat
When all I really want is your love back
Deep down knowing it's been long gone
Knowing all along,
It was never really there
Fabricating a life that only I can imagine 
Fooling myself into feeling your passion & compassion 
When the truth is,
 you just waiting for the inevitable to happen 
I REALLY did believe you were in love with me
And you would never leave
Kuz thats what you promised me...
All along I was just forcing myself to not see
If I'd just let my dilussions go,
I could finally be free
But I've alway held on to that blind faith in humanity
Thinking that you were so much more than
Any of them could ever be..
Stupid me.....

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