Email Poem

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Personal Note:
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Poem
I am a puzzle
made of pieces.
One for the girl who woke my heart,
one for the girl who broke it,
one for the man who shook it,
one for the man who took it
(when it wasn’t his to take),
one for the man
who put it together again and made it beat.
 
There’s a piece for the Hindu Kush,
and Logar and Wardak
Kandahar and Uruzgan
and one for the thunderstorms in Gardez.
 
One for every friend
whom I’ve outlived
which is to say
so, so, so many.
 
There’s even a piece
made of pieces,
links in the chain of friends
that led me from one to another,
all the crazy people I used to love.
 
There’s a piece for the friend
who hasn’t left my side;
a piece for my Wonder Twin,
one for each brother;
a piece for every mother who loved me
and every father who left me
and every teacher who built me.
 
I have pieces
for people and places,
ideas and things.
A piece for the nights
in drunken paradise,
a piece for eyelash icicles
in the north country cold,
a piece for the Adirondacks
and Boldt Castle
for the summer we played
before the playhouse came crashing down,
a piece for all the top secret hours
in vaults.
 
I have a piece for Alabama,
for Arizona,
for Snowflake and Avalanche,
for inside jokes
and viral videos.
You can borrow my top
and we’ll get some shoes.
 
I have pieces for the Greater Caucasus,
for my Bakuvian balcony
where I’d watch the sun rise
over the Caspian Sea.
I have pieces for Kyiv
and for Stockholm,
one for the Great Wall,
and so many pieces for Japan.
 
Pieces for Joshua Tree, Big Basin,
Dogwood, Crestline,
pieces for all those cross country road trips
east to west or west to east,
there and back again.
 
There are so many cat shaped pieces,
Stubentigers who have loved me,
for every cup of coffee that touched my soul,
pieces for every trail run,
every weight lifted,
every crushed thing – both goals, and hearts.
 
So you see
I am puzzling.
If I know who I am,
I have shown you.
If you have a piece
for the villain I was in your story,
just know
that I’m not misunderstood.
I simply
did not understand myself
back then.
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