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Personal Note:

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Poem


I’ve missed out on pub table conversations
the shocked laughter and gasps
The feeling of validation that they seem to get
from confessing 
and every time I feel ashamed and childish 
you stare back at me.


Hurt. 

How they hark at what they deem to be your innocence
Shake their heads in disbelief 
As if wearing white was a modern day crime 
past the age of eighteen. 

I lay at night, silk sheets holding one body 
being watched by you 
 you say


But how I long to be held
Soft lips marking their territory on my neck 
Patterns that look like battle scars 
Souvenirs that confirm my maturity 

But what’s to happen one December night 
when your leash finally falls apart?
Me and another left alone in the purple palace 
my childhood etched far away into the stars 
What do I say when they ask to see my Kingdom?
All the possessions I haven’t taken 

Will they take pity on my poverty? Lead the path away from home?

Or will they leave and you return 
as before 
reminding me that I am not deserving 
at least not yet

I must remember the clock has no ultimatum 
there’s no shame in not letting go
but that won’t stop me from feeling

eternally alone.

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