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I feel so bad writing these verses
Spewing hate when all I feel is love
38 years of pain is seeping
Kindness leaving, my life is for reaping

Never allowed to express my feelings 
Others always right, my heart always takes a beating 
My truth is mine, you dont have to believe 
Your truth is yours only to perceive 

Narcissistic, that you are
But who were you before?
I thought you were my hero 
Now when I think of you i cry into my pillow 

How did we get here, where did it go wrong?
You were my confidant for so long
But as time passed the real you came out
A liar, a cheat but the real victim is me

You used to say you'd love me whatever
Now were just strangers forever 
You don't even say happy birthday no more
How can a mother forget the day their child was born?

Crying in silence, missing you like mad
So much to tell you, it makes me so sad
I wish I could call just to say hello
Even writing this makes me feel low

But the hate that I feel has overtaken
The lie you told was of your making
38 years since the lie was first said
38 years later the lie lives in my head 

I look like him, did that hurt you?
I didn't want my face to break you
My heart is sick just like his too
Do you know the doctor said I might not make it through? 

If I should pass without saying goodbye
Read these verses to help understand why
Please know i loved you no matter what
Unconditional forever even when the door was shut

I'm sorry that I ruined your life
I'm sorry that I couldn't make it right
I'm sorry that I ever was born
But you chose my dad yet im the one that mourns

I'm in a straight jacket and you have the key
Nobody is coming to rescue me
You told the lie, you broke my heart 
I wish we could go back to the start

Our time is done, I have to admit that is true
Mother and daughter a relationship we outgrew 
I'm always here for you, though its more than you deserve
There's always a seat at my table...no need to reserve
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