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Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes for adults?

 One, two Buckle My Shoe  

One,  two,  Got caught cheating on you
Three, four, we got a divorce
Five, six, how much do I get?
Seven, eight,I have a hot date
Nine, ten, Got married again!

 Do Your Ears Hang Low?

Do your breasts hang low?
And not stay where they go?
When you lay down on your bed,
They social distance like covid!
Lost in the woods way out?
They're like a compass, pointing South.
Do your breasts hang low?


 Ring Around the Rosy

Ring around the toilet
And you just ignore it
Some men are asses,
Put the seat down! 


 Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet 
Joined a commune to rough it
Eating organic each day
Along came a spider
Who offered to hide her
If she'd be friends 
and not run away 



  Baa, Baa Black Sheep

Baa,baa, black sheep
You think you are so cool
Being a rebel, skipping days of school
Once to go swimming, once to just hang out
In this family that's not what we're about
Baa,baa, black sheep
You think that you are cool?
No sir, no sir, you are just a fool.  


Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little lamb
His fleece was white as snow
Because the Son of God,
No sin did he know.

He followed me to school one day 
which was against the rules
They said we're not allowed to pray 
Or speak of him at school

Why does the Lamb love me so?
And hear my every cry?
He loves everyone you know
And that is why He died.

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