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We all have those moments.  Moments in life when you know things will never be the same for you.  For me that moment was seeing Fred's black Pumas on the stairs after he had passed away.  The empty shoes gave me a flash back.  I saw him standing at the kitchenette counter in his scrubs and the same all-black althetic sneakers preparing my morning coffee and vitamins.   His light blue scrubs unable to hide his hulking shoulders and chest , yet loose on his flat stomach.  In his stead i'd find a freshly pressed coffee, vitamins and water bottle in a row on the counter.   A true care taker of a care taker.   At one time, these little acts of service became a welcomed routine.    Now... the same shoes sat empty and lonely on the steps toward where we used to live.  Which was now just an empty room.  Fredy'd never have a chance  to Be.  A chance to better himself.  A chance at Love again , which I know he had a lot of to give.  The empty shoes filled my heart with sadness. The thought that his large heart no longer beat in his chest was almost too much for me to bear.   Who could ever fill this man's shoes?  As a Brother, a Son, Grandson and Caretaker, as a Lover or as a Best Friend.

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