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I can't believe I thought that.
In the shadows of my soul the whispers lingered. It murmured and elegantly sat massaging my last ego in the stool of regrets. My being was lied to, stomped at, shot with words anchored with rays of 
acidic venoms.

The truth choked me. 
It served anguish on 
my haunting mind. 

It's hypnotic that I once fancied a strangling viper that vapours the juice from my melted eyes into the mountain of torture.
I stumbled, I swayed to life's thorns of abyss and ensnared by love's cruel crumbs of illusion.

The bruises painted on my canvassed face chuckled at every punch till I lost the willingness to see the glory of the full moon in dark clouds. 
My eyes sank into the fire.
My eerie turquoise lips screamed out blue lavas. 

I was the sulfur who dared not escape the volcano. Those blows made me regurgitate. 
Made me lose my sapling smile.
Orchestrated the loss of myself.

I was thorn from my flesh like onions.
My blood, alarmed in pickled beet hues and I gushed like cano cristales, dangling on the verge of a slit through the wrist. 
I didn't want to leave my pumpkins 
I didn't want to see them watch me either.

It was selfish to dance with such folly. 
To roam in that nightmare of a dream.
It was selfish to leave them suffering the most but my eyes failed me.
My voice joined the chorus
My legs? The soil rejected them. 

A breezy glance of creamy smile after 
every hit. The devil's only laugh.
How do I make it painless?
No one is saving me from this. 
The world would plea I endure
They won't not believe, and neither did I.

Time stood still dancing to my whims. 
The wind in pretence, flinched.
The night? It barely covered my shame. 
I watched the hessdalen lights take flight without crawling on me.

Do I let his grey kicks 
take the last accolades
Or should I grab them 
myself, taking the glory?

It's bewildering, I thought that I was loved. 
I can't believe I thought that taking my breath would make it easier and filter the pain.
For every dig and storm he imprinted on me, 
I forgive myself.
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