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Why should we hire you? I guarantee this is the only conversation we will have while I work here Why did you leave your last job? The tried to make we ask an 95 year old if she needed insurance for her 2 year deceased husbands PlayStation 5 What is your weakness? It’s either my concentration or When did you get there What are your strengths? I am great at ignoring questions Good with Subzero in Mortal I am amazing at pretending to be sick I have a brilliant coughing emoji Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Creating a time machine and coming all the way back here to stop me from taking this job Are you Sarah Conner Tell me about your ability to work under pressure? For let me think All of my life I have been pulled by a gravitational force and under the same air pressure as everyone in this room. Yes I can send the next person in no pressure Describe your management style? I manage to avoid as many of the management as I can over the whole works hours and that goes double outside of work Why have you been unemployed for so long? Now I am gonna take this in too parts Unemployed Technically I was employed by the government to look after my terminally ill wife So long now is that a comparison But to what That mountain that shadows your office Has hardly stretched A humming bird has flapped its last The middle of the ocean has began a wave So long This was fun let’s not do it again What is your dream job? Well my dream job would be like a little factory Conveying belts moving clouds of dreams People forcing them in boxes While chewing sandwiches I have a corner office where I get to design them I am a head dream architect Yes I can follow security
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