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In shadows deep where childhood fears reside
A father's wrath and a son's tormented life.
A torrent of abuse with a soul's despair
A question lingers heavy in the stale putrid air.

"Why was I not enough for my father's pride
Why did your love like fragile glass - subside?"
I searched within for flaws and faults unseen
A defective ugly child unworthy of your esteem.

Listen, to the wavering sound of your 
uncontrolled wrath. 
Like a thunderous lion roar untapped.
Your fists were like the 
mountains lightning's strikes
leaving me bloodied
broken and torn.
A distorted reflection in the 
broken mirror of your rage.
A son's plea echoing in the void 
seeking peace in a Biblical sage.

Each glancing blow was a cruel reminder of 
a love that took flight.
A question murmured in the still 
of the night 
a son's plea echoing silently.
The stars, like a voiceless jury 
bore witness to my endless fragility.
Their sparkling diamonds reflected 
the blackened tears that blurred my tranquility.

Against the wall 
against the floor, I fell
In a proverbial coffin of terror was a living hell.
Personified despair for my desperate plea.
But love remained elusive 
never free or for me.

How could I have been different? 
I pondered with sickening despair.
Would a change in my 
   .....essence 
have lightened the burden you 
......bear?
Your hands were never a source of 
...comfort 
became instruments of fear.
Their touch, a chilling memory of a love 
that just disappeared.

In Dante’s theater of death there is a tragic play.
Each act unfolds in shades of gray and disarray.
Anaphora echoes through the years
"Why, Father, did I provoke your ravaged fears?"

Yet, in the end, it was the silence that echoed the loudest,
Your life a fire extinguished by a disease 
most foul and foulest.
Yet, in the quiet of your passing 
no answers were bestowed.
Only the lingering question 
a heavy, burdensome load.

Up from past’s charred remains 
resilience took flight just like 
A phoenix reborn.
A new father to three daughters 
under God's watchful eyes.
From your dark shadows 
I emerged stronger and wiser.
A testament to resilience 
a survivor, a Christian riser.

In the end, I found the answer...
not in your silence but in their laughter.
In the love I offer and receive 
now and ever, and ever after.

For I am not the echo of your 
blind rage but the product
of my Godly choice.
In their smiles, I find my truth 
my answer is in their love for 
I found my voice.

As another teardrop falls 
a trauma survivor finds calmness 
just for today and hereafter.

Shadows deep where fears hide
Broken mirror reflects man's pride
Love’s absence and 
pain guides.
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