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Poem

I’ve brewed so many potions still you are
I’ve made elixirs from hydrogen to quiet you 
Nothing I do is a cure for my lonesome electron
We all have a voice spinning around in our heads
Are yours as loud as a hungry child unquelled?
Are yours like a steel fork dragging on glass?
Silhouettes of thoughts ready to gnash
You are resistant to my entreaties to stop

Noises should retreat to the background
Mine craves the foreground with monster wails
My voice hates crowds and pounces when alone 
I am a captive company trashing our home 
No amount of lithium will quiet your voice
No lurasidone will quiet your psychosis
Till death do us part we thrashing for release
There was a time when you and I were one

Somewhere in my youth, your evil entered me
You were thrown into the closet with my childhood 
Now I’m old the hinges have rusted
The locked door has been clawed to death
I feel your evil talons gnashing a way out 
As a scarred door portends, we want freedom
Do I bring out my whip or feed you treats?
Do I show Heisenberg’s theory of uncertainty?

When my spirit is low, it welcomes me home
I welcome evil, but the tiger invites me in
It asks me to enter, but I open an empty sack
Evil comes like a kitten to its father and enters
It calls itself Pygmalion asking me to loosen up
I teach it English, but it drills in me monster speak 
I teach it how to use forks and spoons
It shows me how much pitchforks hurt

Thank you for being my test subject
It’s my life’s work to say thanks with sincerity
An education with graduation day out of reach
It’s my life’s work to enter the closet with a tiger
The way out is in without a care of consumption
As it feeds my body daily, I will teach satiety
May it teach me to no longer fear hunger 
The potion I longed for was myself

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