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Poem

written twelve years ago
when yours truly about two score 
and twelve years old,
and fishy financial fiasco
about twenty six weeks
before being scalloped
courtesy villainous fraudster
otherwise known as scam artists,
blithely, glibly, and pliantly
fleeced with shear trickery
my coveted nest egg.

TO: TWO PRECIOUS HARRIS LASSES 
WHO LIVE ON GREENTREE LANE
THIS FAST APPROACHING CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY 
AS WILL READILY BECAME PLAIN
RECEIVED A SPARTAN GOVERNMENT LARGESSE 
WHICH AFFORDS PRESENT 
ONLY ONE BOX OF COAL APIECE
DISAPPOINTMENT THIS PA 
HUMBUG HO HUM FELLOW 
WILL TRY TO EXPLAIN. 

OUTRAGEOUS COSTS 
TO CLOTHE ELVES 
WHAT WITH DESIGNER CLOTHES
AND THE LATEST TECHNOLOGICAL GIZMO
NEARLY BROKE THE PIGGY BANK 
IN ADDITION TO FEED THE REINDEER 
COMPOSED OF BUCKS AND DOES
THIS I TELL YOU 
TO BE EARNEST AND FRANK
WHICH GRUELING BUSINESS 
NEARLY FOUND LITTLE ASS(ETS) FROZE
THIS GOVERNMENT ACTION 
NO HALLOWEEN PRANK
NEARLY FOUND ME BEHIND BARS 
ADDING TO UNFORTUNATE WOES.

SMALL TOKENS ACQUIRED 
BY THE ABILITY TO SCRIMP AND SAVE
A PITTANCE COMPARED 
TO LAST YULETIDE
YET NO INTENT TO BE MEAN SPIRITED 
NOR RANT OR RAVE
FOR BOUNDLESS LOVE SPILLS FORTH 
FROM SENSITIVE PRIDE
NO MATTER SOME 
PERCEIVE ME UNSAINTLY 
PURSE NICKETY KNAVE
RANK AS A WORSE CREATION 
THAN FRANKENSTEIN’S BRIDE.

TRY TO REMEMBER 
TIS THE THOUGHT 
FROM WITHIN TO GIVE EACH
AND EXTEND THE SPIRIT 
OF GOOD CHEER
THAT COUNTS MORE 
THAN SPEND LAVISHLY 
AND TO REALLY TEACH
SO CHERISH EACH 
AND EVERY MOMENT 
WITH PASSION TO SPARE.

NOW ONWARD AND UPWARD HO
WITH THE SOUND OF SLEIGH BELLS 
BACK TO THE NORTH POLE
THIS POOPED OUT HERD WILL GO
AND THE EXPECTED GIFT 
FROM THE MISSUS A LUMP OF COAL
PLUS A LAUNDRY LIST 
OF DUTIES PERFORMED 
WHILE ENDURING TEMPERATURES 
(INCLUDING WIND CHILL FACTOR)
THAT FEEL LIKE…
WELL BELOW ONE HUNDRED BELOW.
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