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Rudolph the reindeer has a big red nose And it shines so bright wherever he goes Well, it’s not real; it's a halogen light That Santa Claus switches on at night. "So, what's the history?" I hear you say Well concerns were raised by the C.A.A. Because one dark night Santa fell asleep And he failed to hear the warning beep. A large jet was heading for Santa's sleigh He woke up in time and got out the way A witness down below; on oath he swore Said he'd never seen a man so drunk before. But at first, he thought it was a U. F. O. Until he heard swearing and ho ho ho So, a law was passed that anyone in flight Display a red light when flying at night. They let Santa off with a fine and a warning And banned alcohol 'till Christmas morning He kept his pilot's license on one condition That he displays a red light on every mission. He went to his local store to buy a light And found one that was red and bright Asked the elves as to where it should go And they all agreed at the front on show. They fitted it first on Rudolph's big head But it blinded Santa with its dazzling red They put it on his nose; it looked just right And glows bright red in the dark of night. Rudolph asked “ Well, what's in it for me? " 'Cos, he felt silly, but would wear for a fee So, a big bonus he gets with extra pay Plus, the finest grass on Christmas day. (In the UK the C.A.A. Is the Civil Aviation Authority.) Written on 12 December 2023 I came across this old poem from my back pages and gave it an overhaul.
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