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My poems are words with soul - Silent One. As a monotone morning sketches charcoal trees under smoke filled foggy skies, rain casually falls, sliding down slate roofs, causing havoc for traffic on bustling roads. Red lights seem to shimmer, shining through shades of grey, as the sound of raindrops drip against my BMW's black bonnet, my mind drifts nonchalantly, discarding beeping horns and FM beats. I ponder is it an act or is it an art this thing they label as life, living with a formula formed and forged from a mix of experiences and emotions. I begin to question myself. (why do we do that?) I seem to have adopted a sense of vulnerability, fusing feelings of fragility, since my hair infused into silver (yes I chose silver over grey) - something my father warned against. But I'm not as tough as him, although he wasn't half the man I am... Yet what I have seen and heard, has ultimately made me who I am today and in all the suffering I have always searched for the light - Rumi was right. Maybe I'm too open minded, too fair in this field of selfish spirits. Maybe I'm not loyal enough to my beliefs, which contradict my moral compass and philosophical projections, but I've never claimed to be saint. My soul is telling me to shut up.. I've always wondered if I'll ever be understood.. At least I understand me - but is that any consolation? It's not as simple as wisdom accumulating. Sensitivity of a smile can never be underestimated. You have to peer beyond the verbal, non verbal - comprehend the action. Sometimes I feel unloved, many times invisible, yet I seem to come alive in loneliness. Would I be a plaintiff or defendant in a court of your judgment? I will always represent myself. Words with speech have never been true confessions, as my thoughts are too deep, sometimes too unreliable, that's why I never pen them down - it scares my soul (who tells me again to shut up). I wonder if I make sense. Soul calls it nonsense. Green flashing circle says I can go. An abrupt end to contemplation. Sadly grey tones and tints of tiredness remain. Simple Musing 8 December 2023
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