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my mind is screaming merely mimicking my lost design my heart is bleeding memories of a dissolved time With the scorned child, I thought gone the next stage of life has now begun Feeling lost within my own doom feeling as though I'm surrounded Crowded within this room screaming at the top of my shattered lungs Not a single soul wavers no one bothered to look up They walk right through my scattered limbs Leaving behind their muddy scuffs Dancing upon them Like leaves blown onto the street Late into an autumn dusk Trampled upon are the ones not seen And on top of my punctured ribs, they stand As if designated to their blind feet This decaying plot of land Porous and indented with rubber soles imprinted A pathway for others and nothing more My torso became fused with the floor my hand stretched to the sky Grasping for any signs of life My own existence I now struggle to find But no plea no cry no sorrowful why Passed through my lips are ever heard Never acknowledged, not a single word No value in me Do others see So I find myself in the dirt Questioning my own existence And it was in this very instance Because the thought that I do not was so Persistent I prove to myself I exist Because where else but one's self Would an owned thought live So self I have no matter how distant Self equals existence But does it prove that I live what is life but the execution of one's mind Thinking about it and then creating it into time So just maybe my problem does not lie in the acknowledgment that I can not find But in the value I have placed within it And through my childish eyes I view myself with the value I was given And through these eyes, I see not The value in myself or my thoughts Thus with time into reality i create loss Now the question has changed and the new question raised is how do I find value in something where previously no value was placed Who I am need to be reappraised My childish eyes that once gave A view of my worth established at birth Into this blackened dirt They shall be laid With newly found worth Love for the child I gave For value in her, I placed And upon the replenished earth A foundation was finally laid I walk, rising from the dirt A path that I have made Forever Changed
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