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Both of my daughters have married and moved on both now have lives and homes of their own both their “old” bedrooms now empty of them their laughter and music still harbour their presence their energy and love and remain safe haven for some of their “stuff” there was a time when their busy hubbub and end-of-world dramas enlivened our home kisses and hugs were a daily affair their laughter and giggles permeated the air a time just moments ago it seems when I was all knowing and could do everything a time when they’d yell “Dad come quick there’s a bug in my room!!!” I was part of decisions there at events my hand always ready to help and be held it was me on whose shoulders they rode as safe as can be holding tight to my ears my peanut-butter and jams “Triangles not squares and cut off the crusts” were the best in the land my sanction was sought for parties and sleep-overs make-up and boys and those have-to-have pierced ears I was expected to unravel the mystery and magic of their curious and questing open-eyed “Whys?” it was me whom they coquettishly sashayed around beguilingly telling me “Mom says it looks fine” magical times for me and for them seemingly then never to end but in the blink of an eye there is now someone else doing these things I knew it was coming but it’s nevertheless incredibly hard to let go of their hands to wish them safe journey and bid them farewell I’m doing my best with this inevitable change it is after all where I want them to be and what I want them to have and must hasten to assure you that this is not a bottom lip pout a woe is me rant a why should it be, it’s really not fair but, when assessing my position it is abundantly clear that I have become a tea-bag Dad the kettle has boiled the cup has been filled the tea has been steeped and is ready to drink the tea-bag however having dutifully performed and essential to the process of making the tea no longer needed is removed from the cup placed on a saucer and put to one side that trusty old tea-bag that made it all possible lies discarded and forgotten and off to one side so, if you are a Dad and your “babies” are grown and someone else is removing that bug is holding their hand, are those shoulders to ride on and is telling them why it’s okay to feel sad and a little bit miffed somewhat forgotten and off to one side because, like me, you will know in your heart and your soul that you poured every last drop into being their Dad.
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