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WHAT THEY SAID:
MASSES: Our votes must count!
AREA BOYS: We only know our pay master, the originator of stomach infrastructure
PARTY MANIFESTOS:
LP: You won't labour in vain
PDP: When we were in charge, we were the biggest economy in Africa
APC: We will "cushion" the effects of subsidy removal and increase "minimum" wage.
THE UMPIRE:
Bimodal voter accreditation system (BVAS) and Viewing portal (IREV), are both "game changers!"
We "shall" UPLOAD, and TRANSMIT "results" immediately
The electoral process will be "FREE, FAIR and TRANSPARENT."
THE PRESS:
(A)
We have noticed election malfeasance, like: vote buying, voter suppression and intimidation
THE PRESS
(B)
Elections haven't started, but reports say "results are already being announced" in Nasarara
THE PRESS
(C)
Sources say "ballot boxes" just "arrived" Kogri at Noon
THE PRESS AND MASSES in UNISON:
Which one comes first, the results or the election?
THE UMPIRE: You reserve the right to go to court
THE COURT:
Ours is to "AFFIRM" victory and "DISMISS" noise makers.

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