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Jack and Jill went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two fifty
don't tell me they went up for water!

Georgie Porgie 
kissed the girls and made them cry,
now he has to register as a sex offender.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to get her dog a bone,
went she bent over, Rover came over
and gave her a bone of her own!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a bad fall
a victim of bullying!

3 blind mice see how they run
Farmers wife was armed with mace!

Little Miss Muffet sat on a Tuffet
eating curds & whey
along came a spider,
and she beat the crap out of it!

Mary Mary quite contrary,
the broad was hard to get along with!

Jack be nimble Jack be quick
Jack was too slow and he 
burnt his naughty bits!

Little Bo Peep lost a sheep,
check in with the horny teenage
farm boy next door.

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