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A Letter to Myself Should I give up writing Seems all this bleating and wailing Bemoaning this lot of love I am allocated to feel But never touch Should I stop showing the world Such a pitiful and pathetic face As it twists and grapples Dug in my heart With its suffocating blade Of aloneness Where I am lost When are the fluorescing lines Of my gratitude What are my words praises to love With this eternal gift Floating me in the fires Of hot air balloons But still gut wrenches out my soul In this separation “Come on,” I tell myself What wrapped delight have I known more I should be proud of my hunger Feed it with all the imagined embraces Just for her More a rock I should Than this wet dripping weak kneed flannel be More colourful and joyous In my need In deliverance believes Faith it should be For the ever bonded To such a fate Allows my love to consume me Her heart so tender Must needs better of me Than this whimpering sop Who’s begging and pleading Has no real foundation in my bones More eloquent is she More rapturous Than the blazing anthologies of Isis The hymn and rhythm of her Calls to me Shout of exultant Piercing forever’s follicle Permeable She saturates More a kin to glory I should be More humbled And less bent to paupers knee To lift her ankle And kiss her feet Rather I should not Die so But Live
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