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I tried squeezing my eyes countless times,
But even up to date when l close them, folded scenes release their leash on me,
How could l even start  explaining because we didn’t even do mammie and daddy, 
Because mammie was only a child and daddy was an old hag,
I tried covering parts of my body with my tiny hands,
With fear written all over my face,
Not even a word could come out of my mouth, 
All that could come out were whispers, mumbles,
He touched my body like he was touching piano keys,
But to me the keys were only cranking and making noise,
Hot beads of sweat trickled down my forehead,
As tears made their way down  my cheeks,
He kept on pressing me on the bathroom tub,
He started pounding and pounding and pounding and pounding,
My vision  became blurry as my eyes shut lazily,
I could hear the screams, from screams to moans, from moans to groans,
l could feel his skin inside me, with which every bang came with pain instead of pleasure,
He became my body’s assassinate,
Not only did he take my innocence, he broke me beyond repair,
I have come to hate my body with every bit  that l have in me,
If only there exists any form of a bath that can remove any dirty on every knock and corner of my body,
I could picture his face as he walked freely out of the court room,
Without any guilty conscience, never had there been justice in the times of apartheid, 
Guess being white pays off after all,
Am filled with so many “if’s” in my mind and head,
Only if l could turn back hands of time,
Only if rivers could go reverse,
Only if daddy had a conscience,
But daddy why?................

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