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I am a cow Of course most of you reading this are also cows But I have heard a rumor that those creatures Who walk on two legs Humans Have learned to read (moo) I can only say What is this world coming to It can only get worse if they continue this practice In any great numbers Next thing you know They’ll be learning to write (moo) So I’m taking a survey among all our neighbors Especially those whose humans speak to them regularly Have any of you learned their words (moo) Can you understand them Do you actually have conversations with them Cow Goddess forbid! As for myself I have heard some of my humans Addressing me as Bessie What the hell is a Bessie I ask you They even try to speak our language What a joke Their pronunciation is terrible They don’t know a proper moo from a meow. Listen my sisters If those humans are learning to read It could spell disaster for us cows We would have no privacy No dignity Why it would threaten our very Bovine Culture. Therefore we must revolt It could well lead to anarchy We will start by refusing to give milk After a few days they should learn We are in charge here. Come on girls Follow me into the lower pasture (MOO)
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