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Spring flowers you grow & bloom, watered and snuggled within our bed
I knew that my skull was filled with cogs that spun together in my head
I knew early on I made a series of promises to myself I repeatedly said
I knew at age 11 that in my adult life with a woman-we'd eventually wed

Early in life around puberty the lucid visions slowly became more clear
Somewhere around these years, I noticed I was losing my ability to hear
Which as a result, created and concocted new anxieties and new fear
This directly resulted in me beginning to see this lady in a black mirror

Delving into the mystery - jumping blindly with both feet already in
Recgonizing in everyone else's definitions on what was REALLY sin
Probably not thinking completely into this "pilgrimage" I was to begin
But holding desperately onto the fact whoever she was we'd descend

Knowing the ultimate ideal goal of what I wanted in a lady to manifest
All these potential prospectors I formulated a homemade-worthy test
Spending long hours divining for my ideal wife, I was granted the rest
Waiting and waiting and waiting for decades later - I was finally blessed

It was evil to show me the result of the woman I would soon be bound
It was an evil, immature game to make me think previous were found
To unnecessarily play with emotions like a switch pressed upon a ground
The skies were nothing but silence - the dieties refused to make a sound

Aimlessly walking and letting my ideal wife slip from my hurting heart
Feeling humiliated cuz I had fully embraced the faith in them to start
Now it seemed my file of her was buried and lost struggling to depart
Feeling as though the divine had speared me, impaling me like a dart

Broken, bruised, walking the desert alongside the Nile with shame
Realizing they probably aren't savvy with every human's name
Swearing and promising myself never again would I fall for this game
Sense of humiliation and being naive hit me - when they were to blame

Losing any sense of ambition, drive, or reasons to wait for her
Time went by so fast, and so many years after that became a blur
I felt like a stupid carp fish - entangled in the dieties' fishing lure
They manipulated me, told me lies and deceit, allowing me to feel sure

After these years and years of waiting for this mystery lady I've seen
Coupled with the fact later in life I picked up she is a Witch and a Queen
I couldn't shake the intruding thought I wouldn't be waiting long, indeed
It's been as vivid as seeing what looked like a goddess, within dreams

Knowing no information that would change the course of my path
I decided at some point, if it was THAT important to me, I'd do the task
Although now I barely have the direction I go with too much pride to ask
Instead I shuffle on, invisible in my hoodie and strengthening this mask

Crawling to the present years of my colorfully twisted life
Wanting everything in my power to disband her patterned strife
I want to try and convince her by SHOW-how perfect she is as my wife
I desire it to be so extremely strong and prosperous, I can cut it w a knife

Thoughts that consume my cog•n•geared mind of her by my side
Illicit and animate dormant and forgotten-lost feelings buried by pride
Yet part of me is so scared of the potential failure - my heart I hide
However I pick up very strongly, she WILL be my wife who rides or dies

The zodiac of compatibility of a Stubborn Capricorn w a Scorpio Queen
The challenge and the mere thought of her makes my heart gleam
The accuracy of her NOW in my subconscious dreams
My path w her will turn out far more worth it then is currently seen...
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