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It's an honourable profession to be a locksmith by trade I've done it for years and my work is A grade I'm not one to boast but I say constantly That I've made every key there can possibly be Car keys, skeleton keys, master keys, house keys You name it I've done it, I can make them with ease That was true ‘til today when a gentleman came in He was looking harassed with his jaw set and grim 'I want some keys made' 'Sure thing' I say 'I want 88' he continued 'And I want them today' Well! that was a rather large client request But I was up for the gig and I'd give it my best We looked at materials available to use Brass, tin, and iron - but all these he refused 'That's no good' he said 'They won't do' he moaned 'I want you to make them all out of bone' Well, that was weird...but you know that they say "Customers always right" So I just said 'Okay' 'And I want different colours' He shouted wide-eyed 'Some white and some black!' And he shot off outside I stood there bemused at what had evolved But then I realised the issue and the problem was solved He was hopelessly mistaken about my position What he really required was a kind of musician 'Hey!' I shouted after him 'Come back here if you please! You need somebody else if you want ... piano keys!’
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