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When I failed Him – I couldn’t tell Him How dark the dread was, how painful the doubt, How the color black fell over my feelings And even in the light I couldn’t see the gentleness Through the clouds, the discouragement When I lost my hope and I just couldn’t cope I couldn’t understand that He was still there with me, Reassuring my heart, even in the dark – comforting Calming, through the worry and anxiety, past The feelings that haunted and taunted me, the fury That seemed to echo through my mind and thoughts, Erasing joy and filling me up with mistrust to destroy Every promise, every dream, every feeling of grace Beauty became a memory, fleeting and bleeding Through the colors, hues of compassion, Everlasting peace and surrender to the intimacy Tenderness that trembled with faith, with Warmth that felt like home to me, silencing my Tears, easing my fears – stirring the music, The mystery, the belief that stills every uneasiness When I didn’t know how to believe and even The elation was so far from the praise, the worship That honored Him with my lips – yet never Bled through the despair, the grief, the dishonesty A heart without joy – a heart without hope Because I had a heart that had failed to find love In a world He came to save, a world that is lost Amid skepticism and mistrust, among the questions Unspoken by lips who never mouth a prayer Lips who never remember – He is always there He is with me – even when I fail to love and adore, Even when I neglect prayer and praise, Even when I disappoint Him with my bitterness Or give Him so many reasons to give up on me – He is with me – even when I can’t believe He is He is with me when I don’t feel His presence there He is with me when I can’t find a way to silence The doubts, the confusion, the dreadful disillusions He is with me – through every dark night of the soul, He makes a way out of the shadows, the murky World where I go when I feel so lost and alone He is with me and I know – when I praise Him With my heart and my soul, He breathes warmth Into the shimmering from a Son who lights the world With a fire that becomes my heart’s one desire – This love that is His glorious gift, His grace – His peace The blessing of His presence – forever – He is with me!
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