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I used to blame myself 
For your absence in my life
I thought maybe you didn’t love me
Maybe I was right

Your in my life always leaving 
without a care
But i should expect that from a deadbeat

A deadbeat who never cared about anyone
Except maybe himself
As your child
It should be my instinct to love and forgive you
But I don’t

It was you self pity 
That made you leave me
I’m 13
You’re 38
That’s not my fault

You’re a grown man
Isn’t that an irony 
I’ve had to take care of you
When you should be taking care of me

When have to be in adult dippers 
I will leave just like you did
Because even thought 2 wrongs
Don’t make a right
Logic has left my mind

I scream
I’ve locked my self in the closet
Am I bi 
Or trans
Or straight
Or boy
Or girl
Or all  
Or none 

Nobody gets it not even my mom
The second you ban me 
From doing what feels right 
Is the second you’ve crossed that line 
You can’t half support

You love me for all
Or hate me for none

Nobody speaks my foreign tongue 
It’s foreign to me too
But I can make out bits and pieces
They can’t 

This is what you caused
You say I’m sorry baby I love you
I say I love you none
I will no longer hold my tongue 

These words are meant to fly
They will be gone
Faster than the wind
I’m treated like  
By my mom
By you
By Brad

The difference is YOU
Are my ing dad
You are supposed to be here
Not snorting crack off
Some random strippers ass

I can’t bare the thought of you
I don’t know the smell of you 
The feeling of you love

But I do know it’s not warm 
It’s cold
Kind of like the night
When you scared me so bad puked
The night you tried to run over mom
The night your drug dealer punched me because YOU
Made a remark then used me as a tool

Either way he would’ve beat your ass
This time though 
His punches landed on me
I don’t love you 
You don’t love me
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