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It was one of those days

Started with the shower

She wanted to join me

Which in any other day would’ve been great

But her best friend was sharing it sort of to speak

It was a sympathetic sort of share

Which was true

The wife did leave me on the Friday

To visit her mum

Coming back on the Monday

So technically she lied

Coming back on the Sunday

A good lawyer would pick up on this immediately

Granted, when I told her best friend she had left me

I maybe forgot to mention it was only for the weekend

Anyway, back to the problem at hand

The shower has packed in love

Okay sweet chops, I’ll be naked waiting for you

Right love, oh god don’t go into the bedroom

You bastard

She went into the bedroom

So anyway, since it was Sunday, I popped out for the rolls and papers

He did this every Sunday, the Lawyer explained

Two Police cars, sirens blaring, flew up towards the house

So as the Judge stated, jailing her for 90 days, taking into account the mitigating circumstances in this sorry affair

Could have been a lot worse, I suppose

So I was at a loose end, and a visit to the hospital was long overdue

Naturally I took the obligatory grapes and flowers

Technically, she was still the wive's best friend

But my god, if you could’ve seen the venom coming out of that one good eye

I swear, if she could speak through that wired jaw

I would have got a right ear bashing

So I sat down on the bench eating my grapes, thinking

I do hope they two can put this behind them

Probably laugh about it in 83 days.

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