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My father was locked in on an Alzheimer’s unit of a nursing home. I asked my mother “how will I know when to leave?” “You’ll know,” she told me. So I went. Dad was playing cards with a woman and a man. I said “Hi Dad!” and the woman jumped up, gave a loud screech and ran off. I found out later that it is his girlfriend there, he thinks they get married sometimes. He has told my mother this more than once. Bob stayed with my Dad. I could tell that Dad knew that he knew me, but he was not sure how. There was a flicker of recognition. He gave me a half smile. He had my Daddy’s face, but he was not totally my Daddy now. Bob said “Hey, Dick, can I get you a sweater?” Dad nodded. Bob wandered off, and a guy in a weird walker scooted behind me. “Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh!” He chanted in my ear. A woman in a house dress came over and said “What’s wrong with you?” She proceeded to lambast him “Are you retarded? Stop that!” “Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh!” Dad and I smiled at each other. A nurse wheeled the guy away, and the woman left. I asked Dad if he wanted to go outside. He loves the outdoors. “I want to go home,” he said. “Take me home.” I was there for two hours. He asked me to take him home twenty-six times. I felt sad, but knew he could not go home. He was a danger to Mom now. He had threatened to kill her. And he had many guns. One was missing. Mom was right. I knew when to leave. When he no longer responded to me.
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