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I go to the doctors office for a simple check up
The first thing she says, 
"I'm so proud of you for losing weight"
All I can do is look down at my feet and mutter thanks
I don't mention the dark circles around my eyes
I don't let her know that I haven't had my period in 3 months
How I feel dizzy whenever I stand
How many hours I spend at the gym
I can't tell her how good water feels on an empty stomach
Or that I don't remember when the last time I had a proper meal
I grab my things and call my mom 
Thinking that if I talk to someone who knows that weight and health are not the same thing I will feel better but I don't
Instead I stand on the scale and curse the girl in the mirror
And figure that one more skipped meal won't hurt
Or another 3 hours in gym won't kill me
I get told everyday how good I am looking and how proud people are of me
The girls at the gym ask me what my secret is and I can't tell them I am sick
We have sayings like "You can feel sore today or sorry tomorrow" 
And "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" yet I still don't look like Kate Moss
And when I do find something that tastes THAT good I feel guilty and restrict
I know my friends won't worry though
If I skip everything except the salad without dressing
Or I say ''I'm just not hungry"
You know that fat girls don't get bulimia 
So if I tell my friends I don't want a meal it 
They won't start to worry
Because, It looks like I don't miss any!

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