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I made it but not really. I look back at life and see I had to literally not live. I even gave mercy words and man some of these rituals wake up monsters. You know when someone gives their life to Jesus anything inside not resolved is something Jesus commands right. Jesus anyways. My step dad came into my perception to ask for his soul back but the request was rejected. Since he gave some of his life raising me lol he had a very minor say I my success. You know the feeling to go him quit just depression in general. It happens to be people resentful towards you. The only way I saw to escape is to never enjoy a moment in life and eventually even moments like teaching me how to read and write can't be used against me. I just I can't BELIEVE how much a wish a simple internal wish can effect anyone having to do with that wish. My ability got to the point where I wished for food I was dreaming of a meal I'd buy later and people working accidentally gave that exact meal to me. Of course I saw someone else order it but hey. If you want to be your own man in this life you cannot owe anyone and one way is to sacrifice every happy moment until you can't say this life was worth it. By then you own anyone that wishes you to fail. That's doing life alone correctly. Become the alien. Become the vegetable.

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