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Once I drank milk straight from the carton And guzzled beer out of a can, When I dripped gravy on my tie, I licked it up. But though my manners were appalling, One habit I would never fall in, I never sank to drinking coffee from a Styrofoam cup. I grew up in far West Texas, And my mama taught me well Not to slurp or belch when we sat down to sup. And when I went away to college I picked up social skills and knowledge But not a knack for drinking coffee from a Styrofoam cup. I've been from Malibu to Memphis, I've crisscrossed the Great Divide, Thought I might be a movie star when I grew up. That pipe dream never came about, But even when it fizzled out, I never stooped to drinking coffee from a Styrofoam cup. I've grown much older now and wiser, And my habits have improved, And I'll play my part until this gig is up. Though I do things I think are drastic, Like sipping champagne out of plastic, I draw the line at drinking coffee from a Styrofoam cup. When at last this play has ended And the final curtain's closed, And St. Peter says, "Hey, Jim, your number's up." Even though I'll face a specious doom, I'll more than gladly leave that waiting room If angels try to serve me coffee in a Styrofoam cup. Now, should the right one come along, I'm sure I'd gladly change my song To find romance again before my time is up. We may not on everything concur, But if it came down to a mug…or her… I could get used to drinking coffee from a Styrofoam cup.
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