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Not that folks out there are keeping score--
But I envision myself as something... more

However, the main obstacle getting in my way
Is predicting what could go wrong every day

Particularly because I tend to be strait-laced
No place around here is hiring me with haste

I didn't succeed in school to prep for a career
Now I lack proper income, year after year...

Even with 2 A.A.'s-- and scads more classes
Finding my niche has been slow as molasses

Now I found out that with just my library card
There's access to free courses which I regard

That should have been my entire college ed!
But they made me go, so I got debt instead

Sometimes I feel I do not belong in this city
But independence requires being more gritty

Yet since my goal is not merely to impress
I often long for simplicity, something... less

Imagining rising early-early to tend a small farm
Except I can't myself cause an animal any harm

I could gather hen eggs and learn to milk a cow
Would I be dedicated with my hand to the plow?

Fickle as I am, my indecisive discernment
Confuses me as where to be God's servant

Would I find purpose in the White Violet Center
Helping with crops and alpaca, being a mentor

Or am I destined to keep putting up with this mess
Stuck here in a trial of patience, & learning to bless

Being here for my mom later, in her elderly age
As she was here for me, from my earliest stage

I don't mind my role as a helpful "volunteer lady"
But I hope for job security, without turning shady

Perhaps my hobbies and art could be an online biz
Earning my bread without shoplifting as in Les Mis

Probably I missed my chance to be a cloistered nun
Now that I'm too old, & tried to have too much fun

It's just as well, since I need to take care of myself
Avoiding kidney stones doesn't contribute to my pelf

And in what climate could this Little Flower grow...
Do I really need all this sun, or could I endure snow

Have I been complaining literally this whole poem?
Guess that's what happens when I'm bored at home

Through it all, God has done great things for me
I'd like to offer more to show how He set me free
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