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Why do I miss your voice? Is it because it’s one I should, and want to hear, or am I being selfish, thinking I’m entitled by length of my years. Or is the answer within? A heart still beating, sheltering a place unaware of the distance, now existing between staying in touch decided by conscious thought. Created not by choice, but by situations we have had to face, and choices made because of them. Never explained to each other fully, at the time they occurred, or over the years, for clarity and understanding.  The nature of man contributes to the lack of willingness between two voices. Putting on airs, to impress a woman,  not comfortable just being himself, not revealing all, in his mind, To avoid loss of respect, and not wanting to appear weak, risking her condemnation. Not realizing this only guarantees in her eyes, he will, thus dropping the ball, from programmed ignorance. Personally, I can only hope there is help from above. I certainly need it, for the rest of this day and not just for one Holy Week on the Christian calendar, when long ago, the story goes, kindness and portrayed weakness, by another led to the ultimate price he had to pay. My errors have contributed to no longer hearing voices, once they seemed automatic and accessible without effort. Now, if I hear those voices again,now distant, unforced tears will flow, inside a cleansing vibration imparting a warm glow. Knowing something has changed beyond my control. Wouldn’t it be like all the holidays rolled into one, if our cell numbers were dialed, a few words spoken, from past residents of hearts, seemingly long ago. Emotional baggage could be left intentionally at the turnstile, lost for the chance for a new time and day.  When two voices, not just one, now felt free to say, how was your day?Wouldn’t spirits lift unexpectedly? By a gesture not seemingly to hard, even after time has passed? It could be the start of something, I would come to realize, a man could actually be stronger and feel better, by embracing, and revealing,his weaker side, and putting kindness into play. Then others could would? consider, participating as a second voice, reversing reluctance and finding a way, to demonstrate any time in life, two voices reinvented, could mean, and actually be, better then one.
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