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I  seek a better life far beyond depression
My mental state needs to be repaired
Along with it, I need compensation for being born;
I did not ask for it.

Till then shall love be but my peace of mind?
I would like to believe it will
Doubts creep in and stay for a long time
Why do they torment me?
My difficulties meet with every minute that passes by
There are no cures, so I think
They are the conflicts created a long time ago
They haunt me still.

Having seized my doomed life from the grave
Not knowing the reason why when I’m so keen to exit
That’s what happens with a confused mind
Loving on edge all the time.

Most of the tears will be found wanting
Having no cause for being morbid
What has been created cannot be undone
I only can utter this is life…..
When the sound of unwholesomeness I hear
There’s no need to listen to the heart
It has been conquered mediocrity
I can do nothing about it.

Within the boundaries of loving there’s a heart
Functioning in a way the mind dictates
For with it, fantasies are created
As I am consumed by it. 

Being happy in a family surroundings
Having all that I need and more
Alongside sexual fulfilment
To wake up in repulsion!
When I’m living behind prison bars I am broken
In need to escape and quickly as possible
What freedom will I find?
If I free myself after all.

If the revitalized body assumes emotions again
Keeping the mind and heart abreast of love
There will be hope, I think
Or even a waiting hell.

To the end of life itself, 
Being so murky and disproportionate
Would I want to be revived?
Would I want to go through it again?
Reconciled by these thoughts 
Cognitive contents have opened compassion’s gates
I wonder if I should accept them
Trying to go along with it.

In justification through my beliefs 
I should know my transgressions are many
To be forgiven I shall not know
The past roads were wide and weary…..
Can I cry for lost time now departed?
It is a different country from the past;
I cannot live there anymore
I cannot love here now, also!

To call for exasperated mind and the unadorned heart
Where the spirit is weak and possessed
There is no possibility of a return
Except if sanity can be restored.
Consequential grief  is not prescribed
It waits for an overall doom
It shall blacken my life
So be it!
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