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Excuse me please pass the salt

Excuse me please pass the salt,
I am out of luck hit by a lightning bolt,
I am sitting here quiet around this desk,
Thinking about which escape route is best.
It's a blind date set up by others,
Not someone you take home to mothers.
I cannot move I cannot speak,
The duck I am eating still has a beak,
I feel almost sick I feel almost weak,
The feeling is real our future together looks bleak.
Send me the cheque let me leg it now,
I am tired of dinner need to get this some how.
He's quite a bit older by the look of his skin 
The stuble is patchy on his chin.
I nose dive into my soup,
He's spilled his food onto his suit.
I want to hide I want a simple good night,
A run in the other direction the no end in sight.
They bring out first course second and third,
We sit in silence not saying a word.
He's not my type or even a maybe,
He sucks his fingers to enjoy the gravy,.
Ok I am totally and utterly unimpressed.
The night was left ruined I wore my best dress.
I need a rest I am exhausted and drained.
This night will never be the same.
Ken you will never be my man I say,
I will always be Barbie in every way.
Mum calls me and I drop my dolls shhh i say it's in the vault 
As barbie passes ken the salt.

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