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Poem

Im the last one picked
Im not the person that is chosen first
Ive learned how to get by
Just by hearing bits and pieces of the conversation
Im not the one chosen to share the recesses of someone elses mind with
Im not the person who is kept in the loop
Im the last one invited
Im the one who sees the adventures that others have
And wonder why I don’t have those with other people
Everytime I think I’ve found somewhere to belong
There’s a crack in my head that dark whispers breath out pain
You dont actually matter to them
Theyre just too nice to turn you down
And I fight them I try and I try
But then something happens
The belonging that I think Ive found goes and finds a better fit
They find that someone makes them laugh more
That someone understands their struggles better
That someone is more comforting to be around
And they dont tell me they just stop bringing me around
Im okay not being the only choice but Im never the choice
Im trying to figure out what Im doing wrong
But the people who I am around tell me
Youre fine Dont worry
Then go and pick someone else over me
But I dont mind because Ive never been the one with the choices
I see again and again
The choices I make never choose me
Theres always a better option
A tighter fit
Something brighter
But I want to be the choice sometimes
And I feel selfish for trying to say it
I dont want to sound childish or whiney
But I dont know how to explain
I cant stop feeling like this
I know where I stand
And that spot that I stand
Is watching everyone else make choices
And me getting left with the scraps

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