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I don my towerin' torque at a jaunty angle when I prepare my cuisine!
Eat yer heart out, Gordon Ramsey; of all the world's chefs I'm the dean!
I can whip up a delectable repast in a trice from a can of pickled spam!
I've appointed myself the world's greatest chef - that I am, that I am!

Ain't nothin' better'n my ravioli heated from a can of Chef-Boy-Ardee,
Or a tasty frozen pie or cake defrosted in my microwave from Sara Lee!
Why, I can heat up a canned ham quicker'n Emeril Lagasse can utter "bam"!
I'll say it agin, I'm the world's greatest chef - that I am, that I am!

Try my tasty Eggo waffles or pancakes that I forge in my toaster,
Or the magnificent stews that I concoct from Dinty Moore in my roaster!
People rave about my sandwiches of Skippy peanut butter and Smucker's jam!
Are you convinced I'm the world's greatest chef? I think I am, I think I am!

I learned the art of grillin' hot dogs at French culinary ecole Le Cordon Bleu,
And it was there I cultivated my skill fer broilin' burgers on the barbecue!
I invite you to try a bowl of my delicious Campbell's New England clam!
I'll repeat it agin, I'm the world's greatest chef (or at least I think I am)!

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