Email Poem

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Personal Note:

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Poem

I lost my one shot at unconditional love, because my mother deserted me.
Too young to know the reasons, which may, undoubtedly, have been valid, 
I was left with an eternal feeling of abandonment, which seeped into my being.

I see a small child staring ahead, alone, dangling a tattered teddy by its arm.
Dried tears on her cheeks, and then suddenly sobbing again - lost.
No worried parent comes to find her, but she is eventually scooped up by a stranger.

The stranger tries to love her: she has new clothes, a home and a ‘good education.’
There is a  cost though, and the love she seems to receive has a price - conditions: 
She must be perfect, pretty, clever, a dancer, a university graduate, a success.

Never enough, or that was her impression, an ill-founded  fear of abandonment 
and imperfection, awaiting surrection at the slightest tectonic shift, cast adrift
If expectations were not met, goals left unaccomplished, deadlines missed. 

And now, as I reflect in older age, I see the race I’ve run and the battle it became:
An eternal game I could never win…… or perhaps it is won, as I take the hand of the lonely child holding the tattered teddy, and love her - unconditionally.

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