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Jock stumbled - pals called him a wus
(No injury was obvious)
But Jock bruised his willy
And now he feels silly
With todger strapped up in a truss 


WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON

Old Jock had injured and bruised his man thing
His doc said "Jock, you'll need a tartan sling"
He's now looking quite built
Bulging under his kilt
Lassies swoon when he does the Highland fling.

After a week his thing turned black and blue
Jock said "hoots mon, what am I ganna do"
But he'd left it too late
Doc had to amputate
And now poor Jock has to sit on the loo.

WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM

He washed his new jock, it was new
So it tightly embraced both its crew 
But after the race
Oh what a disgrace
His now aching partners were blue


WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS



Jock stumbled and he landed face down
Injuring the jewel in his crown
His bruised pride and joy swelled
By awe it was beheld
Jock's tackle became talk of the town.

The doctor said I know just the thing
To give support to your ding-a-ling
Doc got Jock's bits strapped up
Jock swore and he cussed
For doc said it could be longstanding.

Jock's dilemma can be seen by all
He's going nuts because of the fall
He's craving free willy
To swing willy-nilly
And longs to unstrap his cannon ball.

WRITTEN BY BELLE BELLEVUE

Now Jock knew about liquid nitrogen
But sprayed on far more than he might have done
So just when it mattered
One tap and it shattered
And Jock said Hoots mon, me old fright’ner’s gone

He said Doc, I need a new caber
My wife has never gone through labour
The Doc held his gaze
Grabbed three treble A’s
And sewed on on a three foot light sabre

WRITTEN BY TERRY FLOOD

Jock managed to get his willy banged up, 
He cried loud like a little newborn pup, 
Stayed in bed a week, 
It hurt to take a leak, 
All because he slipped on his sippy cup

WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y

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