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Poem

I smoked a pack of Marlboros 
Every day, left butts smoldering
In dirty, smelly ashtrays
The nicotine addiction compelled 
Me to quit… yet, I did not
I smoked until there was only
Short, spasmic breaths
Left in my black lungs
And oxygen had to be taken aside
So I could light up

I drank a fifth of vodka
Every day, left empty glasses
In a sink that hesitated
To risk the flood of last drops
Being washed away with Dawn
And the tears that poured 
Down cheeks who knew
I was an alcoholic who couldn’t
Quench my thirst with anything
That didn’t say 90 proof

I swallowed a Percocet every time
The pain that pierced my heart
With regrets, remorse, remembrances
Started to edge between me
And the familiar feeling of numbness
That comes from taking a pill
Every time the feeling that rises inside
Feels like you have been slapped
With the truth, the facts, the reality
Coming alive without that 10 mg capsule

The addiction flowed through me in waves
Caressing the beach of my thoughts
Like a sea laps at the sandy shore with 
The familiar touch of hope for the sun
Who will light up, with rays, hues of gold
Whispering through the morning 
Embracing the pastel shells and mysterious
Swells of ocean water, pushing against the beach
Like a gentle hand will push against my habits
With the knowledge that this dependence is vile

I clasp hands with the truth when I take a breath
And look up at the heavens with a broken heart
Who listens to the words that come alive inside
When the heavenly Father looks down at me
The child who is drifting on waves of sin and shame
And, in a still small voice speaks… 

Even the richest, most blessed nation can pray
For redemption.. just have faith,

God bless the USA and AAA

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