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There is no rhyme nor reason For Christmas shopping season Only during this season do you find out things you never knew Like 80 year old women get football scholarships to BYU An old man saw a dress that was just his wife’s style So he tackled the woman holding it in the third aisle A daddy bought Elmo to give his child some joy A nun said I got a gun, so hand over the toy It isn’t bad enough that someone’s stepping on your toes But she’s letting her kid pull off Rudolph’s nose Then I hear Santa saying ha ha ha hee hee hee Because ho ho ho isn’t politically correct you see Now I’m fuming, if there was a fire I’d fan it I began to wonder if I was on the right planet A little old lady put a bruise on my face Then smiled at me so I sprayed her with mace No one can imagine the way I felt Until I put some mistletoe on the back of my belt One thing for certain next year I’ll try To do my Christmas shopping in July.
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