Email Poem

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My mate must have seen the big grin on my face
He said spill it man, is that grin glued in place 
I had to confess since the day I got wed 
That I’d never had such a good time in bed

I told him I’d tell him but it’s a bit rude
Just spice up your sex life with plenty of food
So take a ring donut, a bagel will do
Just make sure the middle will slip over ‘you’

Some pineapple rings and some dark chocolate sauce
Some hundreds and thousands, and whipped cream of course
Those sprinkles make winkles that look pretty tasty
Your wife will leap on to the bed pretty hasty

It might be quite wobbly so try not to cough
At least till your lady has licked it all off
My mate said it sounds like an orgy in Rome
I can’t hang about I’m going straight home

The next time we met he was wearing a frown
In a hospital bed in a hospital gown
I could tell he was bandaged below the waist
He said my advice he had taken in haste

I followed your plan plus a cherry on top
My wife dropped her nightie but then I said ‘STOP!’
Your food plan, my friend, wasn't good for my health 
It looked so damned good that I ate it myself

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