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Miss Muffet sat upon a velvet stool I know 'twas a tuffet; learned that in school But Muffy was the tart Who broke the spider's heart I'm telling the story, so shut up, fool! Humpty Dumpty had no wisdom at all That stupid raw egg sat upon a wall Tempting luck, he gambled Kerplunk...he got scrambled Oh what dire fate for an egg to befall Robbie Rabbit had a fly on his head It flitted to his tongue where it fell dead Robbie's halitosis Was a bad neurosis He was banished before allowed to spread The scoop on gardener, Mary Mary Is she liked to sip Bristol creme sherry Her tummy was growing Pregnancy was showing The dad? Tom, Dick, Harry; maybe Jerry Jill followed Jack up that hill on a whim She thought he was cheating on her with Kim The buxom preacher's daughter Jill was jailed for slaughter She beat both of them with Jack's bloody limb Such a bad little boy was Jack Horner Spent many hours in the time out corner Jack was dumber than dumb Ate plum pie with his thumb Wagged his purple tongue at each laughing scorner There was a speedy racer, called the hare He was so fast, thought he'd have time to spare The tortoise whooped his butt The hare shouted some smut I won't repeat it. No way I'm going there! I read the tale about Cinderella Who went to a ball to snag a fella Bippity boppity boo She ran off and lost a shoe And stepped in some sticky mozzarella Hey, where are ya going, Baa Baa, black sheep Leaving your meadow, Master, you're a creep You sheared off my wool Tired of your bull I'm joining the herd of Little Bo Peep Three oinkers built houses with diverse ideas Straw and sticks? Those guys drank too many beers The bad wolf huffed and puffed Piggy three had him handcuffed The bricker was much shrewder than his peers
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