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Initially he is so charming He charms your pants off. Bring flowers to your mother. And a treat for the dog. He is almost too charming. Giggle. Giggle. Smile. Smile. You fall in love quickly. Your father is not fooled. He despises the guy right away. There is something wrong with him, he says. To everyone who will listen. Not to your mother of course. She shushes him. She’s the one who has new flowers. Giggle Giggle. Smile. Smile. She is smitten. He targeted you because you are the life of the party. You have an internal joy he wants to capture and keep hidden. At first he says and does everything to make you fall in love. You are so in-love that you do not recognize the warning signs. He accidentally shows up wherever you are, follows you places. Under the pretense of making sure you are safe. You think it is great. It makes you feel special. But as soon as you are married, you are squirreled away. Taken to a remote location or another country. Without a support system. He makes fun of you for wanting to talk to your mother. He goads you into dropping your friends. Pretty soon he has thrown away your cell phone. He is not pleasant any more. He is demanding and commanding. He is enormously not pleased with you. You are not breaking quickly enough to suit him. He steals your joy. You learn not to smile. When you laugh it hurts him, so you stop. You try to please him, but you are never “a good enough girl”. He begins to treat you in the worst ways. Beatings start. He is always sorry. So contrite and sad when he does it. Begging you to take him back. You have no other choice. He has once again charmed your pants off. Giggle. Giggle. But there is no more smiling And you are probably not as in-love as you once were.
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